Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Blog 22

Blog #22:  Post your data so far.  If you have not yet collected your data = post as soon as your data is available.  

Female Subject:
Basic Questions
S: What is your name?
M: Merri Giannotto.
S: What is your gender?
M: Female

S: How old are you, if I may ask?
M: fifty years old.
S: And what is your race?
M: White

Meeting for the first time:
S:  What did you imagine your future husband/wife to be when you were a child?
M:  (laughing) nothing what I got.  As a child you think you are going to find your prince charming, not knowing there is no such man. Growing up in the Brady Bunch era you think your husband will look and be like Mike Brady.  Ok, I dreamed a lot.
S:  So, did you date anyone else before meeting one another?  Why or why not?
M:  Being so young, I didn’t date that much.  Had a few dates if you could even call them dates.  Like, back in the day we called it just hanging out.  Is it still called that?  (laughing)
S:  Okay, so how did you meet one another?
M:  We met at a party in high school.  (rolling eyes)
S:  How old were you?
M: I was a baby, 14 years old!
S:  And what were your first impressions upon meeting him?
M:  My first impressions were ewwwwwww not for me!  (eyebrow raise)
S:  Can you tell me a particular story about meeting him for the first time?
M:  At this party the girls were going to cook for the boys.  I made macaroni salad, being 14 years old mind you, never made this before.  Of course my mother helped me make it.  I heard someone at the party asking who made the macaroni salad and then heard before I could even reply saying it was dry.  Well, annoyed and not even know who this person was, or why they were at this party.  I yelled if you don’t like it don’t eat it.  Not a great first impression was it?
S:  And how did that make you feel?
M:  Made me feel great to yell.  Like really how dear you complain you mean person…(laughing)
S:  How do you think your husband/wife felt upon meeting for the first time?
M:  I felt just fine, think I scared him to death the way I yelled.
S: So, what did you learn or take from meeting for the first time compared to being together now?
M:  People should not go to places they are not invited to and be rude. (laughing)
S:  That’s true! So, what else do you remember about first meeting?
M:  I was friends with his brother who was in my social studies class.  Then I met another brother who was a twin.  There were just tons of brothers.  (Eyeroll..laughing)  Never ever did I think Anthony would someday be my boyfriend let alone husband.
S: Is that a good thing?
M: Of course, I don’t kow what I would do without him!
Dating:
S:  Where was your first date and who’s decision was it to go there?
M:  First real date or the second first date?
S: Lets go with the first.
M: Well, I was stood up for the first date.  I don’t know how or why I even gave him a second chance after standing me up.  I was so angry that I gave up my Friday night skiing to go out with a guy that I wasn’t even sure I liked.  His voice was so deep and loud.  (laughing) Should have been the first sign of running the other way. (laughing)
S:  Where was your favorite place to go as a couple?
M:  We loved going to this place to eat called the Wooden Nickel.
S: What is the Wooden Nickel?
M:  It was an old time resteraunt in North Brunswick that had stuff like steak and french onion soup. We would go for the late night menu on Friday night.  They would have a movie in the bar area and they would serve popcorn and food.
S:  That seems fun. Where else did you two go?
M:  I remember going to car shows in New York and meeting Lou Firigno, the incrediblehulk.  We liked to go skiing, we would also go ice skating even thou we weren’t good at it. We would do that often in the winter.
S:  You were a very adventerous couple.
M: Yes, we were. It’s a shame the generation these days aren’t.
S: I know, right?
S: Did you ever break up while dating?  Why or why not?
M:  Oh yes, many times. (laughing)  We would break up over his job, being that he was four years older then me and out of school already he had a full time job that required a lot of weekend work.  That would make me feel like we never went out on the weekends like young people should so we would fight over that.  God how stupid now when you think about it now. (rolls eyes, while laughing)
S:  Did you ever think you would wind up getting married?  Why or why not?
M:  No way! (laughing)  I never would have ever thought I would marry this person.  Seemed we came from such different backrounds.  (laughing) Never ever thought I would marry a truck driver…
S:  Can you tell me some more stories about dating, maybe how your family felt?
M:  Dating was always an adventure.  We would set out planning one thing then of course not doing it and doing something else that was not even an option.  It was hard to ever make real plans.  People did not think we were right for each other, not young people like we were I guess, what Im saying is the parents.  Really my parents, they did not think that he was what they had in mind for their daughter.  He was a truck driver.  Guess all parents think there daughters are going to marry a docto or lawyer. (laughing) Yea right wishful thinking..

Proposal:
S:  What date and where were you proposed to?
M:  I can’t remember.  Wow is that bad?
S:  No, I have heard a lot of couples say that.
M:  I really can’t remember any part of it. I guess it wasn’t exciting who knows..
But, wait maybe this never happened and were not really married.  Haha funny me! (being sarcastic)

Engagement:
S:  How long were you dating before you got engaged?
M:  Four years.
S:  That’s not too bad! And who did you tell about your engagement first?
M:  I told my best friends mother first.  Um, I know my parents would not be happy, so I heisted telling my parents that why I told Aunt Maria’s mom first.
S:  And how did they react to the news?
M:  Everyone thought we were too young, especially me.  There was talk that I was pregnant which was not true.
S:  So, I’m assusimg you didn’t have an engagement Party? 
M:  No, I didn’t want one because I thought it was too much. You know a shower and all that, I just didn’t want it. (shrugging shoulders)
S:  Is there anything you would change about the engagement process?
M:  No, not really.  We had a short-lived engagement and we wanted it that way!

Wedding (Planning):
S:  What were the venues you had in mind for your wedding?
M:  I wanted an outside wedding at home.
S:  What did you look forward to?
M:  The so called dress…(laughing) I did not want a wedding gown, I wanted a dress! 
S:  That’s unique. And what were you least looking forward to in terms of planning for your wedding?
M:  Fighting with my mother.  (grunting) We argued over everything.  It was like it wasn’t even my wedding.  Oh, it was a nightmare that I didn’t even want to go to. (laughing)
S:  What was the hardest part about planning for your wedding?
M:  Keeping it small and not having the world come.
S:  And the easiest?
M:  All of it.  I was not involved at my mother’s choice.  She did what she wanted, what colors and food she wanted.  Oh there were so many fights, I can still here all the yelling, I wanted to run away and just elope.
S:  How did you feel about the overall wedding planning process?
M:  Like it was not even my wedding and I just gave up.
S:  Can you tell me some more stories about planning for you wedding?
M:  Now sorry as I didn’t get to plan my wedding.  I did get to pick out two different dresses. Wow and my mother was not with me. Wahoo…(sarcastically)

Wedding (Day):
S:  Where was your wedding held?
M:  Well, I actually had two different days.
S: How so?
M: I got married on the 27th of August and had my reception that Saturday.  We got married by the judge in Franklin Township.
S: Why did you have two different days?
M: The judge would only do the marriage during the week. So, we had it one day and the reception on a different day.
S:  What time was your wedding at?
M:  Eleven in the morning.
S:  How did you feel on your wedding day?
M:  I was nervous, who wouldn’t be.  It’s a big life changer.
S: That’s true for anyone.
S:  Did anything go wrong? 
M:  The day of the vows, so many people showed up to be with us, they had to clear out the court room and allow us to use it.  The judge screwed up the vows and asked the man do you take this man to be your husband.  The room got real quiet and everyone was laughing.  Stupid Judge.  I didn’t find it funny.
S:  Can you tell me some more stories about your wedding day?
M:  Oh the day of our vows, the best man was very late, as he broke his leg right before we got married.
S: Wow, that sucks.

Honeymoon:
S:  Where was your honeymoon?
M:  We didn’t have one right away; we went to Hawaii a year later.  We spent the night at a hotel.  I can’t even remember the name of the hotel.
S:  And how did you feel being newlyweds?
M:  It felt ok, nothing new really.
S:  Would you change anything about your honeymoon? 
M:  Sure, I wish we could have had one right away, but I just started a new job and couldn’t get vacation. 
S: Bad timing I guess. Can you tell me some more stories about your honeymoon, what did the room look like, how long was the flight?
M:  I remember we watched TV and daddy falling asleep. Some things never change.  Take that as a hint. (laughing) When we had a honeymoon a year later we went to Hawaii, the room was beautiful it was a brand new hotel the flight was just awful.  It was seventeen hours with delays.  I thought your father would die during take off, he turned green he had never flown before. (laughing)

As Newlyweds:
S:  What kind of things did you do as newlyweds?
M:  Nothing different.
S:  How did your relationship change?
M:  We were just together more.  Had to share my bed and house, oh joy.
S:  Looking back today is there anything you would change? 
M:  No not really, it’s all been good.

Having children:
S:  How long after you were married did you decide on having children?
M:  Eight years later we decided to start a family since I married so young.
S:  That’s a long time after. How did that make you feel?
M:  I was scared.
S:  Did you want a girl or a boy? 
M:  I wanted a girl, but all I really cared about was having a healthy child.
S:  So, what were you looking forward to the most about having children?
M:  Being a mom and when you got older being the boss!  My rules! (laughing)
S:  What were you least looking forward to about having children?
M:  Loss of sleep. I lost a lot, you never wanted to sleep.
S: Sounds like me. (laughing)

Hard times:
S:  What has been the hardest in your marriage?
M:  Having a very hard pregnancy and spending six months in the hospital away from my husband.
S: Did he spend time with you?
M: He would come home from work and go straight to the hospital.
S:  What would you like to change in your marriage?
M:  I wish that daddy would work less. 
S:  Can you tell me about some difficulties throughout your marriage from the past until today?
M:  My mom passing away and my dad not being able to really take care of himself.  Having to give up my home and move in with him as he would not move.  Having open-heart surgery just a few weeks ago has been very hard.  Not just on me but also on my family. (teary eyed)
S: We are a close family, so thankfully not much has stoppped us from constantly loving one another.
M: Yup, that’s true.

Overall:
S:  What would you like to see different in your marriage today?
M:  I would like to be able to see my husband work less not more. 
S:  How has your love for another grown stronger?
M:  You don’t think your love could grow stronger when you love someone, but it does happen.  It is amazing what my husband did for my father for many many years, and when the end for my father grew he just became even more amazing of a husband.  He did so much for a man that was not even his father.
S:  What do you think makes your husband your everything?
M:  He is just the best person ever.  He will do whatever it takes to take care of his family.
S: That’s how it should be, I’m glad he’s my dad.
S:  What do you love the most about him?
M:  How he cares so much about his family.
S:  What would you like to change about him?M:  How much he works.

S:  Have you ever thought about renewing you vows?
M:  Nope, why do you need to do that?  It in sickness and health to death do up part. It’s says that the first time around.
S:  That makes sense. Can you tell me anything else about you life together thus far?
M:  Life is strange, people sometimes are opposite and maybe that is what makes it work.  Life has it’s up and downs but overall life is good!


Male Subject:
Basic Questions

S: What is your name?
A: Anthony Giannotto.
S: What is your gender?
M: Male
S:  What did you imagine your future husband/wife to be when you were a child?
A:  A don’t know…nice.
S:  Did you date anyone else before meeting one another?  Why or why not?
A:  No.
S:  Why not.
A: No need to.
S: How did you meet one another?
A:  Party.
S:  How old were you?
A:  uh…eighteen.
S:  What were your first impressions?
A:  Woooooow. (with enthusiasm and wide eyes)
S:  Can you tell me a particular story about meeting for the first time?
A: I went to a party with my twin brothers that I was not really invited to.  I didn’t really know anyone and I made a comment about a salad and the girl that made it heard me and got a little bent over it.  (Red faced)
S:  How do you think your husband/wife felt upon meeting for the first time?
A: It was fun.
S: What did you learn or take from meeting for the first time compared to being together now?
A: Nothing.
S:  Can you tell me some more stories about meeting?
A:   There really wasn’t anything else I can remember.
S:  Where was your first date and who’s decision was it to go there?
A:  Drive in movie theatre.
S: Who’s decision was it?
A: Mine.
S:  Where was your favorite place to go as a couple?
A:  Drive in movies.
S:  Where were some places you remember going while you were dating?
A:  Skiing on the weekends.
S:  Did you ever break up while dating?  Why or why not?
A:  No.
S:  Did you ever think you would wind up getting married?  Why or why not?
A:  Yes.
S: Why’s that?
A: I just did.

-Proposal:

S:  Do you remember anything from your proposal considering there really wasn’t much?
A: No.

-Engagement:
S:  How long were you dating before you got engaged?
A:  I don’t know, I can’t remember. Maybe two years.
S:  Who did you tell about your engagement first?
A:  Everybody.
S:  And how did they react to the news?
A:  Wow, nice.
S:  Is there anything you would change about the engagement process?  Why or why not?
A:  No, not really. 
S:  Can you tell me some more stories about your engagement?
A:  There really isn’t anything to tell.

-Wedding (Planning):
S:  What were the venues you had in mind for your wedding?
A:  Outside wedding, backyard.
S:  What was the hardest part about planning for your wedding?
A: Nothing.
S: Are you sure there was nothing?
A: Nothing.
S:  What was the easiest part about planning for you wedding?
A: All of it.
S:  Can you tell me some more stories about planning for you wedding?
A: Not really, I didn’t do anything.

 -Wedding Day:
S:  Where was your wedding held?
A:  At the..uh..backyard.
S:  What time was your wedding?
A: Oooooh..uhh..about one o’clock, I guess.
S:  What kind of emotions did you have on your wedding day?
A: Wow…nice…excited.
S:  Did you remember anything in particular about your wedding day?
A: Just to have fun.

-Honeymoon:
S:  Where was your honeymoon?
A:  Uh..we didn’t have a honey moon. We uh, went to Hawaii a year later.
S:  How did you feel being newlyweds?
A:  Ok.
S:  Would you change anything about your honeymoon?  Why or why not? 
A:  No.
S: Stories?
A: No.

-As Newlyweds:
S:  What kind of things did you do as newlyweds?
A:  I don’t know.
S:  Was it different?  The Same?
A:   The same.
S:  How did your relationship change?
A:  It didn’t.
S:  Looking back today is there anything you would change?  Why?
A:  Not to argue. (laughing)

-Having children:
S:  How long after you were married did you decide on having children?
A:  I don’t know, mom’s choice.
S:  Did you want a girl or a boy?  Why?
A:  Whatever was healthy.
S:  What were you looking forward to the most about having children?
A:  Being a good father!
S:  And what about the least?
M:  Nothing.

-Hard times:
S:  What has been the hardest in your marriage?
A:  Getting along. (laughing)
S:  What would you like to change in your marriage?
A:  Nothing.
S:  Can you tell me about some difficulties throughout your marriage from the past until today?
A:  No..nope..not at all.

-Overall:
S:  What would you like to see different in your marriage today?
A:  Nothing.
S:  How has your love for another grown stronger?
A:  Yeah of course, it just grew over time.
S:  What makes your wife your everything?
A: She is a great wife and great mother.
S:  What do you love the most about your wife?
A:  Everything..she’s good.
S:  What would you like to change about your wife?
A:  Nothing.
S:  Have you ever thought about renewing you vows?  Why?
A:  No. It’s good.
S:  Can you tell me anything else about you life together thus far?
A:  Nope.


The questions were shortened due to the subject.
The subject being a male, did not have much to say. 

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