Final: Short
Analysis Assignment
ABSTRACT
All
writers write in a way that simply works for them. Writing has been opinioned
to be an art of it’s own and how one decides to express themselves may vary
based on how others perceive their writing and capabilities. Being a student
for the past sixteen years I have noticed many different strategies for writing
based on how my teacher’s taught writing. Unlike some, I find it useful if a professor
comments on my writing whether it is something I take to heart or something I
ignore. I want to look into the complexity of how professors’ comments can lead
to how a student revises his or her paper. Some comments may be longer or
shorter than others, some may offer questions for further research, some may
offer the writer new concepts to develop their work, and others may offer the
student critical thinking approaches. All of these features correlate with the
complexity of a professor’s comments.
LENGTH OF THE PROFESSORS’
COMMENTS
Having a longer comment may be at a
disadvantage to a student because there is too much information to work with. A
shorter comment may be more beneficial because it may be straight to the point
and easier to focus with. Although, this may vary from person to person,
overall the length of a comment may either help or disadvantage a student when
revising their paper. Having the chance to observe these papers have brought up
many questions and thoughts in terms of how professors’ comments affect the
wellbeing of a student.
I looked at all six samples written by students in the English department and picked out ten examples from those six samples that grabbed my interest in finding a result—Does the complexity of a professor’s comment effect a writer for revisions of their paper? I noticed that length plays a huge factor in how a writer interprets a comment. For example, in sample one the comment is as follows, “These points are clear. I wonder, though, I this might be a place to play off students’ definitions of argument. How do these contradict or enrich their expectations of what an argument should be?” The comment is at a perfect length, because it offers a positive beginning and ends with what the writer can work on—nothing more and nothing less. Therefore, this comment is at a good length where the student can address what the professor is identifying.
I looked at all six samples written by students in the English department and picked out ten examples from those six samples that grabbed my interest in finding a result—Does the complexity of a professor’s comment effect a writer for revisions of their paper? I noticed that length plays a huge factor in how a writer interprets a comment. For example, in sample one the comment is as follows, “These points are clear. I wonder, though, I this might be a place to play off students’ definitions of argument. How do these contradict or enrich their expectations of what an argument should be?” The comment is at a perfect length, because it offers a positive beginning and ends with what the writer can work on—nothing more and nothing less. Therefore, this comment is at a good length where the student can address what the professor is identifying.
In sample three, “How did Robyn learn the
ropes? By trial and error—or did she have a mentor? How do you get to know
people? Is it okay to just introduce yourself—or do you need to meet people
through someone else?” The comment in
this situation is long, where in this case a long comment may be too much for
the writer to focus on at once. This may be ineffective for a writer who is
editing their work.
Although, the previous comment was long and offered too much feedback sample five offered a comment that did not give the writer much to analyze. “Too much repetition here, cut to your point.” This comment may be helpful, it is short and tells the writer exactly what they should work on when revising their paper. Therefore, this comment is short, and although, it does not provide the student with much feedback the writer is aware of what they must work on.
Although, the previous comment was long and offered too much feedback sample five offered a comment that did not give the writer much to analyze. “Too much repetition here, cut to your point.” This comment may be helpful, it is short and tells the writer exactly what they should work on when revising their paper. Therefore, this comment is short, and although, it does not provide the student with much feedback the writer is aware of what they must work on.
QUESTIONS BEING ASK BY THE
PROFESSOR
Good feedback may be determined by asking
the writer questions--questions for the writer to expand on. Throughout my observations, I looked to see if
the questions within the comments made a point or were too broad which made it difficult
for the writer to focus on when revising a particular area.
In my findings, I determined that sample
four’s questions were too broad. “This bit feels out of place. I wonder if it
might work better earlier in the paragraph/section?” Although, this is not in
the form of a question this comment tells the writer to move a part of their
writing elsewhere. The questions that may be determined may be: Where? Which
paragraph? After which sentence? There are too many questions that a writer may
have because the professor did not clarify where their information should be
placed.
Having too many questions may be puzzling,
but not having feedback that offers suggestions may be even more puzzling. For
example, sample five circles the words “go through” and puts a question mark
above. This does not offer the writer any suggestions that help with expanding
their thoughts. More questions may be asked: Why? What did I do wrong? How can
I change what I wrote? There is not enough information in terms of why the
writer needs a change to their choice of words.
Providing a student with too many
questions within one comment may distract the writer and cause difficulties
with editing their work. In sample two, just that is being addressed. “Good
observation! What do you notice about what ends up in your bullet points?
Ideas? The language you want? Metaphors? Do you do the whole essay in bullet
points before you start?” There are just too many questions within the one
comment that may be too much for the writer to comprehend at once. The
professor should have summed up what the writer needs to work on in one or two
sentences. The writer’s thoughts may be going in multiple directions, rather
than in just the one area they need to focus on.
NEW CONCEPTS GIVEN BY THE
PROFESSOR
When a professor presents feedback on a
students’ paper they should be sure to offer the students with ways to expand
their paper. The professor should offer the student an idea that can help to
strengthen their work. The feedback should contain at least one new concept
that the student can use. In other words, is the concept good or does the
concept too hard to interpret?
In sample six, I observed that the writer
used new concepts to expand their work. For example, “Christine, your essay is
meaningful and nicely organized. Your analysis of both words supports your
thesis very well. Keep up the good work!” The professor states that the writer
tied the analysis of their readings very well with their thesis. Therefore,
they used new concepts to expand their thesis to interlock with the topic of
the writer’s paper. This positive feedback is pure encouragement for the writer
because the writer can interpret that they exceled in terms of completing their
assignment.
On the other hand, some feedback does not
necessarily offer the writer with the chance to develop new concepts. For
example, sample four is as follows, “This bit seems out of place. It may work
better earlier.” The professor does not offer any new concepts for the writer to
work with. There is simply not enough information for the writer to work with.
In this case there are only statements, but no suggestions for the writer to
expand on. This may be a useless comment because it does not offer the writer
anything what so ever.
CRITICAL THINKING
APPROACHES OF OPINONS
Critical
thinking allows the writer to go above and beyond by offering his or her own
opinion. By allowing for the student to discuss their opinion the students can
relate to their topic better, which leads to a better paper.
In sample two, the feedback offers the writer the opportunity to express him or herself by using an approach to critical thinking. For example, “Good observation! What do you notice about what ends up in your bullet points? Ideas? The language you want? Metaphors? Do you do the whole essay in bullet points before you start?” This feedback offers the writer the ability to state their opinion. The writer is being offered the chance to expand their work by offering their own view in terms of whether or not bullet points are necessary or not in their writing process.
In sample two, the feedback offers the writer the opportunity to express him or herself by using an approach to critical thinking. For example, “Good observation! What do you notice about what ends up in your bullet points? Ideas? The language you want? Metaphors? Do you do the whole essay in bullet points before you start?” This feedback offers the writer the ability to state their opinion. The writer is being offered the chance to expand their work by offering their own view in terms of whether or not bullet points are necessary or not in their writing process.
Sample three does not allow the writer to
apply critical thinking approaches to their work. For example, “Work on your
introduction. This is too general. What defines the identity toolkit for beauty
writers? What purpose, networks for communication, lexis, values/assumptions,
lexis, style etc. defines a person as freelance beauty writer? Hit the general
overview of feature in Gee and Swales.” The feedback in this cases is
descriptive, but the questions allow for more an actual answer rather than for
the writer to use their own opinion in their writing. The professor wants the
student to discuss what the author’s Gee and Swales used within their work.
Critical thinking is important in expression yourself within a paper.
Lastly, sample six does not allow the
writer to use critical thinking as well, “Organize your example to follow in
the order they appear in your essay.” This feedback as well simply is just a
comment and does nothing more or nothing less for the writer. It may have been
beneficial to the writer if the professor told the writer to expand more on
their examples to relate to the particular spot in which they placed their
examples the first time. The more chances the professor allows for critical
thinking the better the writer will be.
RANKING
Comment:
|
Length
1-
Long comment
2-
Short comment
|
Questions
Offered
|
New
Concepts
|
Critical
Thinking Approaches
|
1. Sample 1: #5: “These points are clear.
I wonder, though, I this might be a place to play off students’ definitions
of argument. How do these contradict or enrich their expectations of what an
argument should be?”
|
3 sentences
(1 question)
lengthà2
perfect length |
It makes a point. One sentence is just
enough for the writer to edit their work.
|
Good feedback—the writer knows what they
need to expand on.
|
Allows for critical thinking. Allows the
writer to state what they think.
|
2. Sample 2: #3: “Good observation! What
do you notice about what ends up in your bullet points? Ideas? The language
you want? Metaphors? Do you do the whole essay in bullet points before you
start?”
|
6 sentences
(5 questions)
lengthà1
offers too much
|
Too broad—should be summed up one clear
sentence.
|
The feedback is there but there is too
much that is being asked to the author. The concepts are good but may be too
much to comprehend at once.
|
Does not allow for critical thinking.
Instead, the comments ask for an answer rather than an opinion.
|
3. Sample 3: #1: Work on your
introduction. This is too general. What defines the identity toolkit for
beauty writers? What purpose, networks for communication, lexis,
values/assumptions, lexis, style etc. defines a person as freelance beauty
writer? Hit the general overview of feature in Gee and Swales.”
|
6 sentences
(2 questions)
lengthà2
Just enough
|
Gives the students a lot of questions to
work with. But, too many.
|
There is a lot of feedback but the
information is too much to handle at once.
|
Does not allow for critical thinking.
Instead, the comments ask for an answer rather than an opinion.
|
4. Sample 3: #7: “How did Robyn learn the
ropes? By trial and error—or did she have a mentor? How do you get to know
people? Is it okay to just introduce yourself—or do you need to meet people
through someone else?”
|
4 sentences
(4 questions)
lengthà 1
too much being asked- too long.
|
Too broad—should be summed up in a
sentence or two.
|
There are too many questions being asked.
Although, the writer may find that this feedback can lead to new concepts.
|
Allows for critical thinking. Asks the
writer to state facts, but also acts for opinions that may expand on their
statements.
|
5. Sample 4: #4: “This bit feels out of
place. I wonder if it might work better earlier in the paragraph/section?”
|
2 sentences
(1 question)
lengthà2
just enough.
|
Too broad—should let the writer know
where it would work best.
|
Does not offer feedback in terms of where
the information should be placed. Does not offer any new concepts to be
developed. Does not offer the writer with the ability to add new concepts.
|
Does not allow for critical thinking.
Instead, it offers the writer feedback of where to put previous information.
|
6. Sample 4: #9: “This bit seems out of
place. It may work better earlier.”
|
2 sentences
lengthà2
|
Too broad—where should the writer place
it?
|
Not enough information. Does not offer
the writer the chance for new concepts.
|
Does not allow for critical
thinking. Instead, it offers the
writer feedback of where to put previous information.
|
7. Sample 5: “Too much repetition here, cut
to your point.”
|
1 sentence
lengthà2
|
Makes a point but does not help the
writer. The information does not suggest anything for the writer.
|
Not enough information. Does not offer
the writer the chance for new concepts.
|
This may or may not allow for critical
thinking. By telling the writer to “cut to your point” it allows the writer
to be more opinionated within their work.
|
8. Sample 5: Circles “goes through” and
puts a “?” above the words.
|
1 symbol
lengthà 2
Although, it is short it is does not
offer enough—it has no words.
|
Makes a point but with no feedback why a
“?” was added.
|
Not enough information. Does not offer
the writer the chance for new concepts.
|
Does not allow for critical thinking. It
is simply just a comment and that is all.
|
9. Sample 6: “Organize your
examples to follow in the order they appear in your essay.” |
1 sentence
lengthà 2
Right to the point
|
Too broad—should mention where the
information should be placed.
|
Not enough information. Does not offer the
writer the chance for new concepts.
|
Does not allow for critical thinking. It
is simply just a comment and that is all.
|
10. Sample 6: “Christine, your essay is
meaningful and nicely organized. Your analysis of both works supports your
thesis very well. Keep up the good work!”
|
3 sentences
lengthà2
gives exactly
what is needed.
|
This gives the writer what they need.
They know that they exceled in terms of writing their thesis and comparing
both works.
|
Allows the writer to see that they
developed what was needed.
|
Assuming this allowed for critical
thinking in terms of positive feedback of the writer’s thesis.
|
CONCLUSION
Through many observations and much
planning, I have come to many conclusions. I believe that the complexity of a
comment in terms of length, questions, concepts and critical thinking effects
how a writer revises their paper. I’ve concluded that long comments are not
always better because that leaves the writer with too much information to focus
upon. I found that questions being posed by the professor help the writer to
expand their writing better than not receiving any questions at all. In terms
of offering new concepts, I concluded that at least one concept benefits the
writer, whereas no concepts is difficult for the writer in terms of
comprehension. I noticed that providing a writer with critical thinking helps
the student to give their own opinion in their paper, which therefore leads to
a better paper because a writer can state what is on their mind amongst the
topic. Overall, in my opinion, the comments within students’ papers correlate
with the complexity feature involved within. Length, questions, concepts and
critical thinking are all involved in how a student may revise their paper based
on the comments they are given.
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