Blog 25

Blog #25: Post your draft so far essay.

INTRODUCTION

In society today, there are many stereotypes between men and women. Women are said to be excessive talkers and rather emotional. Men on the other hand, are said to be more on the quiet side and like to bottle up their emotions. Stereotypes have also been determined that in a relationship, women have more to say than men do about the same topics, stories, feelings, and thoughts that may occur.  The goal of my research is to determine if this is true or if these ideas are indeed stereotypes that we as human beings believe. Studies have proved to find that men talk more than women in all, if not most conversational areas.

     How do women tell stories differently than that of men? How do men and women whom share the same stories, express their emotions? How do hand movements and eye contact play a part in the features of the actual storytelling? In my research below, I will explore how men and women engage in conversations and how women tell stories of love and romance differently than that of men.

LITERATURE REVIEW

In “You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation” by Deborah Tannen, she finds that men talk too much and women on the other hand talk less but express themselves more. Tannen elaborates on the fact that men and women do in fact have different ways of speaking and it is important to note how. She states, “Many women and men feel dissatisfied with their close relationships and become even more frustrated when they try to talk things out” (Tannen, pg. 17). This gives an idea how men and women feel when it comes to expressing their emotions when it comes to their significant other.

     How men and women converse is like a language of their own based on gender. Tannen explains, “If women speak and hear a language of connections and intimacy, while men speak and hear a language of status and independence, then communication between men and women can be like cross cultural communication, prey to clash of conversational styles”  (Tannen, pg. 42). Each gender plays a role in how they talk and how their language is interpreted.

     Tannen also believed that men took more pleasure in having strength and being the protector because this attracts women, and therefore the men receive emotional feelings of pleasure and satisfaction of being with their loved one. She mentioned that men and women have different ideas of what they find important and that is why they tell stories and express emotions differently and not the same.

     Women seem to gossip more than men do and in which this is an obligation in a woman’s life.  Tannen tells a story in which a women tells a story of her breakup over and over again, because if she did not mention this to all her close friends they would feel neglected if they found this out from a different individual. The man in this situation decided that it was best not to tell a soul and continue his daily routines as if nothing has changed. The woman in this case had more to say, but that is because women tell stories of romance in more detail than that of men, who may not express themselves as clearly as the women do.

      In my other source, “In a Different Voice” by Carol Gilligan she expresses that women’s relationships are more mysterious than more difficult to describe. She feels that women’s relationships have a lot more to do with that of imagery (Gilligan, pg. 25). Gilligan tends to mention that women are misunderstood and how theories have been built around observations of men in terms of conversation.
     In conclusion, studies have proved that men are the ones who talk more overall, but when it comes to a relationship women are the ones who are more expresses and tend to show more interest in the topic. Men and women have different ways of communication, especially when it comes to intimacy rather than when men are talking to their friends about sports or a meeting at work.

METHODS:

My research was conducted through two interviews, with two different subjects The first interview was conducted with my female subject, which last for about an hour. The second interview only consisted of about twenty minutes, if that. I assumed that an interview would be best to conduct my research simply for the fact of storytelling between males and females. I was particularly interested in facial expressions, gestures and eye contact between my subjects and myself. I feel as if my interview with my female subject had a better flow to it because I got a lot of good answers and they were very descriptive, whereas, the interview with my male subject was more of a direct interview with no story telling involved. The interviews were nothing that I had pictured them to be. My female subject gave me a lot more information than I thought she would--she gave me more useful information than I imagined. My male subject gave me less information then I imagined, simply with yes or no answers and barely anything more than that. I feel as if he felt as if he was in an awkward position or he gave the answers he did because he was put in a position to answer questions on a topic in which he had no interest in. 

PRESENTATION OF DATA:  

I don't have a full section complete, but the major idea will speak about what my subject said in terms of meeting at a party.

Female subject- Meeting at a Party
S:  Can you tell me a particular story about meeting him for the first time?

M:  At this party the girls were going to cook for the boys.  I made macaroni salad, being 14 years old mind you, never made this before.  Of course my mother helped me make it.  I heard someone at the party asking who made the macaroni salad and then heard before I could even reply saying it was dry.  Well, annoyed and not even know who this person was, or why they were at this party.  I yelled if you don’t like it don’t eat it.  Not a great first impression was it?

Male subject- Meeting at a Party

S: How did you meet one another?

A:  Party.